Perfect Pursuit

I have some strong tendencies; others might categorize them as mild compulsions while still others blatant obsessions. I guess that distinction would lie in the relative proximity of their relationship with me. Those that are up front and close fall victim to these tendencies most often and have graduated from the “that is so cute” to the “you are out of control sister” mindset. I am working on tempering these inclinations for that last group.

As I sit here writing this post, I need only glance above the screen of my laptop to realize I am about to have a serious encounter with this particular disposition. I can’t help but notice that our television, which my husband had been working on the other night, was blatantly off center on its stand. Now mind you, I recognized this serious breech of decorative malfeasance the other morning and since I am working on my “tendencies”, I decided to exercise restraint and wait until someone else became aware of the obvious faux pas and rectify it. Well that was five and a half days ago; I can’t help wondering if there is a grave problem with the members in this house. I mean, seriously, am I the only one who sees how wrong this is? Can’t they see how important it is for the television to be sitting right in the middle of the table?!

Perhaps you have already been able to pin point my struggle. Hello, my name is Arlene and I am a perfectionist. I don’t mean to be that way and I can’t even isolate where this penchant for the perfect was birthed. But it seems to have escalated over the years to a full blown affinity to order. Doesn’t everyone live the credo “there is a place for every thing and everything belongs in its place”? No? Really?

Aside from the current pending issue I am well on the way to perfectionism temperance though admittedly I do encounter lapses now and again. Ok more now then again. I confess my motivation to moderation wasn’t due to the fact that I was driving those dear to me over the edge but I discovered that this proclivity for excellence doesn’t entirely line up with the Word of God.

Early on in my walk, I stumbled on the verse “Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). You probably have figured out that that verse and my obsession was a disaster waiting to happen, the nucleic proportion kind, and it did. I self destructed. At that time, I didn’t understand the elementary basics of applying scripture with scripture. I hadn’t understood that while this verse describes the standard of righteousness, this standard can never be perfectly met by man himself, a person who by faith trusts in God enjoys God’s righteousness being reproduced in his life.

The Psalmist understood this when he wrote “To all perfection I see a limit; but your commands are boundless” (Psalm 119:96). I wonder if he had tendencies also. It would seem that he realized that all his ability to be perfect could never match up to the mighty righteousness of God. I think we might have had something in common.

In my desire to be free from this bondage of perfection I learned something stunning. God is not moved by my imperfections after all. In fact, if scripture holds true, and I believe that it does, He already sees me as perfect. The Song of Solomon reads “but my dove, my perfect one, is unique.” (6:9) I love that verse because my whole life I have been described as different, somehow it never felt like a compliment, but I rather like God’s terminology instead…unique. A girl could get use to that especially when it sits next to “perfect”.

But there is more. Not only does God see me as perfect, but He makes my way perfect. “It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.” (Psalm 18:31). “The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me.” (Psalm 138:8 KJV) To my understanding it would seem that God has decided to take up my pursuit of perfection and carry it out on my behalf. Don’t you find that utterly amazing?

However, there is something that I do need to do and that is “aim for perfection” (2 Corinthians 13:11). You see I stand in the righteousness of God because of what Christ did on the cross but that doesn’t negate my responsibility to work out that righteousness in my life. While I am in perfect standing before God that perfection is being worked out tangibly as I walk by faith with Him. Righteous perfection will never be attained but I am commanded to pursue it.

I think I can do that. To aim for something doesn’t mean that you necessarily have to hit the mark, it just means your trying to. I think that makes God happy. I think He likes it when want to please Him. I think our faith attempts are what count and not whether we actually hit the bull’s eye. I am content to live with that and even as I finish this post I am going to purpose to make it my pursuit to aim for better and not get crazed over the failed attempts. Yeah I think that will be my new focus. That is definitely what I will do!

As soon as I straighten the T.V..

“Faith is the courage to accept acceptance, to accept that God loves me as I am and not as I should be, because I’m never going to be as I should be.”
Paul Tillich